I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
