i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
my liver is dry heaving
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
