I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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