Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize