There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
