hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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