ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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