so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
