FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize