I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
