I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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