Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
