so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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