with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
