Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
