After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
