i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
