And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
