So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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