hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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