i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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