a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize