Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
