Apparently you make a good broom.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
