I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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