friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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