If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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