that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Is it penis luge time yet?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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