my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
