So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
