I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
