the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You have to summon your inner elephant
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
