I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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