She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
