guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The adults are the big ones right?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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