Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
