so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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