My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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