Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
