she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You took a bar mat shot.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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