You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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