it wasn't lemon gatorade
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
