He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
