very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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