i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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