Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
