All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
