i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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