If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
