where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
