I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
