1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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