Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
