I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
