We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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