I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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