you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
