ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
