If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
