There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
