i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize