I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize