Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
