I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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