Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
