I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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